


Two and Two isn't Always Four

by Makkoska



Category: Naruto
Genre: Drunk Sex, Emotions, Kakashi dealing with emotions, M/M, Mostly Pwp, Sober Sex, Tiny Angst, and being bad with them, but mostly light-hearted, mentions of Zabuza/Haku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:54:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27608597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makkoska/pseuds/Makkoska
Summary: After returning to Konoha from the first serious mission Team 7 undertakes, Kakashi seeks out Gai for advice. He might be a genius, but there are just things he’s not good at, like dealing with his own emotions. The night ends up in drunken sex and Kakashi finds he doesn’t mind it at all.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy
Comments: 14
Kudos: 138





	Two and Two isn't Always Four

**Author's Note:**

> I’m living some happy Naruto nostalgia and ended up with some serious feels for this pairing. Here’s my first take on these two dolts – story is set right after the Land of Waves arc, as I’m not ready for post-Shinobi-War-Gai emotions yet.

Kakashi has always been careful about the image he cultivated. Admittedly, it isn’t a necessarily _good_ image, but it’s a reliable one. The mask covering his expression at all times, the slouch of his spine when he stands, the unimpressed look in his sole visible eye - it all meant to convey he is cool and calm, unaffected by the world around him, uncaring of problems other people might have. It works like a charm most of the time. People know they can count on him in a fight, but they need to look for somewhere else for a heart-to-heart, for a shoulder to cry on. They don’t expect Kakashi to open up and share his emotions, they don’t even expect him to _have_ emotions. Most people understand he wants everybody to leave him alone.

Most of the time Kakashi wants exactly what he projects. To be left alone with his own thoughts, his books as an escape. The problem is those rare occasions when he wants to talk to someone, to ask for help in areas he’s not an expert of. Like - social interactions. Talking about delicate topics with children. Feelings - his own or others. 

There has been a very good reason why he never let any genin teams pass his test before. He doesn’t like children, children don't like him, and the last thing Kakashi wants is to be responsible for twelve-year olds. Kakashi, not for the first or the last time, curses himself for breaking his own rule. Right, the Third _strongly advised_ against him failing Konoha’s Jinchuuriki - Minato sensei’s son - or the last remaining Uchiha in the village, but surely, Kakashi should have been able to find some loopholes. He knows children are troublesome, but Naruto and Sasuke are really taking being problematic to a whole new level. 

It doesn’t help that he started to become fond of them. If anything, it makes being the lead of Team 7 even worse. Kakashi should know better than to form bonds with these kids, who can die any day on a mission. Sakura, who’s too hesitant to put her theoretical knowledge into practice, Naruto, who’s reckless and competitive, not to mention volatile with the Kyuubi sealed inside him, Sasuke, with his desperate determination to get stronger, to become the avenger he believes he has to be.

They have just completed their first real mission, and it was already a close call. It’s on Kakashi, of course, he should have just rejected Tazuna’s request for guards when it became obvious the task will be way above the level of his genins. It was almost too much for him, with Zabuza accompanied by young, but powerful Haku. A miracle it worked out in the end, with his team stronger and wiser with some valuable life lessons.

The trip home is a pain, with all the questions they - mostly Naruto - bombards him with. How could Kakashi explain the nature of Zabuza’s and Haku’s relationship to these kids? It’s easier to grunt his acknowledgement to Naruto’s long-winded ponderings on whether the Demon of the Mist thought of his young protege as a son or a younger brother.

“Not bloody likely,” Kakashi mutters under his nose.

“What was that Kakashi-sensei?”

“I said, both are likely, Naruo. You are _smart,_ aren’t you?” he adds with all the fake cheerfulness he can muster. Sasuke snorts but doesn’t tell Naruto he's an idiot for not recognising sarcasm. A small miracle.

He finds he still prefers his team’s silly and sometimes annoying chatter to the silence of the nights. He can’t immerse himself in his books when it’s dark and he has to stay alert for any intruder. Memories come to haunt him unbidden then. The boy’s eyes going glassy in death, as Kakashi’s Chidori ran through his chest. The sickening wet warmth of a body around his arm. The moment of paralysed regret he felt, reliving such a scene. Witnessing the pain of Zabuza, who Kakashi thought to be a heartless murderer, watching the Demon as he chose to die alongside his companion, rather than continue to live without him.

It’s late afternoon when they finally arrive back to Konoha. “See you then,” Kakashi says as soon as they are through the gates and leaves his tired team alone. He thinks maybe he should treat them at a restaurant for completing this challenging mission, like the other jounin team leaders would do, but he feels he just can’t stand to be in the presence of other human beings any more.

It’s ironic he still can’t find his peace when he’s alone at home.

Once he’s back in his apartment, he takes a long, hot shower that makes everything just a little more bearable. After that however, he just doesn’t know what to do with himself. All his self-doubts, his depressing thoughts are haunting him, now that there’s nobody around to divert his attention. He’s just not fit for this, this overlooking children’s upbringing thing. How can anyone trust him to keep them alive and even teach them? Techniques, yes, he can do that, but Sasuke and Naruto, they need more than that, don’t they? They have nobody to guide them through life. Kakashi feels wholly inadequate to play the role of a mentor. What the hell does he know about right or wrong decisions, how can he question other people’s morals? What can he say about a boy who sacrificed himself for his beloved master, who thought of himself as nothing but a tool and craved to be useful as such? How could he explain the motives of a grown man who proved to be not so heartless as he tried to appear? What can he say about two deaths, about self-sacrifices? He scrubbed his hands clean so many times, took his long shower, yet he can still see the bloodstains on his own hand, can see that hole ripped open on the boy’s chest. All the holes he ripped open on other people’s chest. Kakashi can’t explain these things to the children, when he doesn’t even know what he, himself is supposed to think and feel.

The problem with being cool, calm, collected and emotionally withdrawn is that people no longer expect he would want to talk about what is troubling him. Kakashi has been maybe too efficient in closing everyone out, in pretending that he doesn’t need anyone.

There’s exactly one person who he could never fool, or maybe who was simply too thick to take a hint. Take any hint, no matter how frequent and obvious they were. Kakashi can’t know if he’s in Konoha or maybe away on a mission, but he suddenly craves Gai’s company too much to resist the urge to go and check.

Night has fallen, but surely, it’s not too late for a visit yet. Kakashi picks up two bottles of sake on his way as an excuse. He only gets unsure when he’s already at Gai’s door. He might not be at home, or worse, he might not be alone. Kakashi doesn’t know what his so-called Eternal Rival spends his nights with. Maybe his students are visiting - Kakashi knows he’s a lot more open and friendly with them than he is. Maybe he has _company._ The thought sits oddly with the Copy Ninja. He decides against exploring his reasons for that. He just wants Gai’s attention for himself tonight, there’s nothing more to it.

He doesn’t quite feel comfortable knocking on the door. It will be a lot less awkward if he takes a peek through the window and just slinks away if Gai isn’t at home or if he’s busy with someone else.

Silent as a cat, he sneaks up to the window. The lights are on, but the curtains are drawn shut. Before he can decide what to do, the panes are thrown open, almost hitting him in the face.

“Rival!” Kakashi winces as Gai's voice booms in joy, loud enough for the whole bloody neighbourhood to hear. “I thought I felt your presence! What are you doing in my window?”

“I have some sake,” Kakashi holds the bottles up, deciding to ignore that question. “I thought I could share.”

“So considerate, just as expected of a man of your calibre!” Gai is always so loud, the exclamation marks prominent in his speech as if a simple declarative sentence couldn’t convey his passion for _everything_. As always, Kakashi is immediately torn between amusement and annoyance over it. “Well come on in, come on in! Don’t just stand there! I was just finishing making dinner, we can share that with the curry!”

Kakashi steps through the windowsill as if that's how he’s supposed to enter someone’s living space. The thick smell of spices hangs in the air, suggesting food that’s too hot to consume for the faint of heart. Like everything, Gai takes to eating as if it’s just another challenge. He won’t let chilli pepper beat him. 

In defence of the heat from cooking, Gai is dressed down to a simple black tee and boxer shorts that are a cheerful turquoise colour with vivid yellow bananas printed all over it. It’s also unfairly tight, not leaving too much for Kakashi’s imagination. He tears his gaze away from that banana adorned arse and those long, naked, muscular legs and pretends to be looking around in Gai’s flat, although it’s not the first time he’s in here. Gai, bless his ignorance, doesn’t notice a thing. He’s humming a merry if off-tune note to himself as he finishes the curry and measures it into two enormous bowls. Kakashi refrains from asking what he planned to do with all that food by himself. He serves the meal, then thankfully puts on a loose jogger, making Kakashi’s job at keeping his eyes above waist level a lot more easier. 

“Tuck in, Kakashi, you look like you could use a hearty, home-made meal!” Gai encourages. He maybe thinks he’s doing it unobtrusively, but Kakashi can feel his gaze on him, assessing whether he likes his cooking. He’s not quite sure what expression he has - he’s already uncomfortable, having to tuck his mask under his chin, even if Gai saw his face before. He’s just not used to being so exposed. And how should he keep his face straight, not to mention arrange it to express satisfaction with his meal, when he’s too busy not to spontaneously combust after he swallowed the first bite of curry. 

“Hot,” he manages to croak. Gai laughs, looking pleased.

“It better be! A spicy curry helps to chase away all your blues, Rival!” Dark eyes scan Kakashi’s face, who has to fight the urge to draw his mask back up, to hide from that suddenly too knowing gaze. “You look like you could use it,” Gai adds, a lot more quietly. “How did the mission go?”

Kakashi chews on his mouthful of fire carefully. He’s getting used to the burn a bit. He feels he lacks the words to answer what Gai is really asking here.

“Everyone survived without suffering any permanent harm,” he says slowly. “The rank went up to A, once we realised who we are protecting our client from. Client is unharmed. Our opponents have died. All in all, a success.” 

“That’s… well, that’s good to hear, Kakashi. It sounds very serious for a first out-of-the-village mission, though,” he breaks the seal of the sake bottle open, pouring them the first shot, allowing Kakashi some time to collect himself. This is what he came here for, to have someone he can talk honestly with. Yet he can’t find the words or indeed, the will to share his troubling thoughts. “I remember the first serious mission we took with the team,” Gai continues when it becomes obvious Kakashi won’t offer anything from his end. “I was so nervous,” he chuckles softly, nothing like his usual blooming laughter. “It was the most stressful week.”

“You, nervous?” Kakashi raises a sceptical eyebrow because it’s hard to imagine Gai being anything but loudly self-confident. “Come on, Gai, surely you just told them to fight with all their overflowing youthful spirits and watched them proudly when they did so.”

“I did tell them that,” Gai grins, flashing blindingly white teeth at him, “you know me well, just as expected from my Esteemed Rival!”

“Rather as expected from your long-time friend,” Kakashi mutters. Gai’s smile, if that’s even possible, becomes even more dazzling. A wonder he doesn’t strike his “Good Guy” pose. Yet.

“Anyway,” Gai is getting steadily through his curry, not even breaking a sweat. If they added a spicy food eating competition to their endless list of matches, he would win it easily. “Matter of fact is, I _was_ really nervous. What if they ended up seriously injured? What if they _died?_ It’s always stressful when you are responsible for someone who’s not at their peak of strength yet. Anyway, they were fine! Tenten did break a hand and Neji overtaxed himself and was out cold for a day, but otherwise… oh, yes, Lee got that nasty cut and a blow to his confidence, but otherwise they were completely fine! Nothing that time, some medicine and a heartfelt motivational speech couldn’t cure!” He fills their cups again and they drink to that.

“Yeeah,” Kakashi scratches his head, “that’s where I have the trouble. What do you _say?_ Good job, continue not to die?” 

“That’s… kind of it. Praise them where due, give feedback so they can improve. Promote teamwork. It won’t be an issue of a shinobi of your talent.”

Kakashi strongly doubts that. He takes another sip of his sake, trying to stop himself from voicing his uncertainties. Unfortunately, that’s not how alcohol works, so he blurts it out anyway.

“I know how to _kill_ people, Gai. I’m not good at keeping them alive. And I don’t know anything about how to _teach_ children to kill.”

“You know a lot more than just how to kill,” Gai’s tone is gentle. “You know how to protect those important to you. You know how to be reliable and important for this village. You know how to strive for more and achieve your goals. You know how to be a friend.” He reaches over the low table and clasps Kakashi’s arm, who tells himself firmly it’s just the curry and sake that makes him flush hot. There’s a moment of thick silence, before Gai breaks the weird mood that settled over them. “It’s no wonder I chose you as my Eternal Rival! You are the person I enjoy competing against the most! I thrive to reach your level of power, your coolness and hipness one day!”

“I don’t think “hipness” is a word, Gai,” Kakashi can’t help but laugh.

“Maybe we just need more sake, and it will be,” Gai winks, actually winks at him, causing another hot flush to spread over Kakashi’s cheeks. 

“Tell me this,” Kakashi leans back on his hands, his stomach full of curry and his mind pleasantly fuzzy with sake. “How do you tell twelve-years olds that a relationship between a man and his teenage subordinate can be _more_ than brotherly or parental?”

“What do you mean… oh,” Gai blushes as well, looking down into his sake. Kakashi feels childishly proud of embarrassing him. He seems to give the question some serious consideration though. “You can tell them that love is love,” he says at last, “and that it can take many forms. Don’t overcomplicate it.”

“You make it sound easy,” Kakashi sighs. He can picture Gai telling this to his team but can’t see himself doing the same. He lies down on his back on the ground next to the table, arms under his head. He’s probably being rude, it’s the middle of Gai’s living room after all, but he’s pretty sure his friend doesn’t mind. “You would hug them as well, wouldn’t you?”

“Why, of course! Nothing enforces the message of love better than a strong hug that comes straight from the heart!”

Kakashi chuckles as he tries and fails to picture himself giving such a speech and then trying to hug his little monsters. Gai stands up to wash their bowls, chattering on about the supposed health benefits of super-spicy curry. Kakashi watches the ceiling, the cheerful orange and green pattern of Gai’s curtains, the pictures that hang on the wall. There’s Maito Dai, of course, with a young Gai, sporting an even more unfortunate hair than his current bowlcut. There are numerous framed photos of Gai’s team and Gai with various shinobi of the village. A teenage Gai, tall and scrawny, who hasn’t yet put on his mass of muscles, grinning awkwardly but enthusiastically for the camera in his newly acquired Chuunin vest. And there’s one with Kakashi from a few years ago, with Gai having an arm around his shoulders. His friend looks so ridiculously happy on that one, while Kakashi is just standing there unimpressed. That was on a mission to… Land of Tea, wasn’t it? They finished sooner than expected and he let Gai drag him into various tea houses and restaurants, then put him through a ridiculous training exercise the next morning to “work it off”. Gai had the photo taken of them in the village they were staying at, claiming it would be a “beautiful memento of the wonderful time he spent together with the man he admires the most, his Eternal Rival.” Leave it to Gai to not simply keep the picture but frame it and hang it on his wall. It makes Kakashi feel jittery with some unnamed feeling. Probably second-hand embarrassment. 

His friend’s apartment tells so much about him as a person. The photos, the little knickknacks he collects as mementos. It’s a dangerous thing. If anyone were to break in here, they could learn so much about the occupant of this place. Kakashi has always been careful to keep his own flat as impersonalised as possible. 

Gai returns, holding the sake cups and bottle and sits down next to him in a lotus pose that he makes to look comfortable. Kakashi drags himself up to something resembling sitting upright and takes one of the cups. Gai’s fingers brush his. His hand is warm and looks just too large, holding the tiny cups. Kakashi probably had more to drink than what’s good for him already, but he gulps down more sake nevertheless.

“The boy was fifteen at most, Gai. Fifteen. He sacrificed himself to save this… this Demon of the Mist.” He watches Gai watch the sake in his cup. Kakashi is sure the other man has no idea of who Momochi Zabuza was - he isn’t someone to browse through Bingo books and he has a horrible memory for names and faces anyway.

“What about the man?” he asks at last.

“What about him?” Kakashi shrugs. “He… I guess he decided to die on his own terms. He asked me to…” his voice breaks for a second, he hopes his friend doesn’t notice, “asked me to carry him over to the boy, so he could see him one last time.”

“They loved each other.”

“Would seem like.”

“Then I see no reason why you can’t tell this to your team, Rival!” Kakashi can’t help but wince a little at the sudden, loud exclamation. “Sometimes love is tragic, but a shinobi can’t complain if he gets to die next to the person he loves!”

Kakashi allows himself a moment of self-pity, thinking whether there’s anyone left at all who’d die for him, after so many deaths. He comes up with the obvious answer to his own question. He doesn’t look at the obvious answer when he empties his cup and holds it out for a refill. He’d rather prefer Gai to live alongside him then to die for him. It’s a strange concept, imagining both of them alive. Maybe even growing old together. Kakashi snorts. Shinobi can’t plan on getting old. It’s not as if he doesn’t know what Gai’s strongest, _final_ technique is. 

“I think I’m getting drunk.”

Gai withdraws the bottle at that, leaving Kakashi’s cup woefully empty. 

“I’ll get us some water.”

“Hey,” Kakashi grabs his arm, before he could stand up, “I challenge you,” he smirks, knowing well he’s playing at Gai’s weak spot. “To a drinking contest.”

“No,” his friend says after the briefest hesitation. “That’s not a good idea.”

“Are you _afraid_ you can’t keep up with me? Mental stability under conditions far from ideal is just as a vital part of a shinobi’s repertoire as strength, cunning or luck is, you know.”

It’s fascinating, watching Gai’s internal battle. He surely knows what Kakashi is doing, but he proves to be unable to resist a challenge in the end.

“I endeavour to keep up with my Eternal Rival in all aspects, be it something trivial as a drinking contest!” He closes his hand in a fist, raising it to his shoulder in a gesture Kakashi recognises as his I-will-give-my-best pose. He smirks - Gai can be so easy. “Name your terms, Kakashi.”

“Ehh…” he hasn’t thought that far ahead. “First to pass out loses?” Gai frowns, so he hastens to add something better. “What if we get to ask something of the other with each cup - if one of us can’t answer clearly or the other can tell a lie straight away, that’s the loser.”

He lets Gai work that out. There’s an obvious catch in there, that he’s sure his friend notices - Kakashi is very good at deception, why Gai can be hardly anything but dangerously honest. 

“Any restrictions on the questions?”

“Nah. But you can be as creative with answers as your inebriated mind manages.”

They start off easy. What was your most embarrassing moment in front of the Hokage? How old were you when you first kissed? If you’d go back in time to meet your ten-year-old self, what would you tell them? Is there something you like but don't want other people to know?

Kakashi learns Gai once let out a long burp in front of the Third, when the old man was explaining the details of a finicky S-rank mission and that young Gai would learn in detail about the best work-out programme for developing chest muscles. An odd choice that, but Gai is so enthusiastic about the details that Kakashi has no reason to think he’s lying. In exchange he tells Gai he was fourteen when he first kissed, which is true, although he leaves out that the girl who kissed him did so on a dare, and Kakashi’s mask remained on. He doesn’t admit he likes Gai, but he’d rather if other people wouldn’t know it, not so much because of his image, but as it would be safer for both of them. He suspects that anyone who knows them already has a fair idea of their friendship. Instead he says Icha Icha Innocence is the best in the series in his opinion, but he prefers to deceive people into thinking it’s Violence. Gai looks at him strangely but doesn’t question it in the end. 

They finish the two bottles Kakashi brought with him soon enough, but luckily Gai has some sake hidden in his kitchen too. He is drunk, Kakashi can tell, from the flush of his cheeks, the strange glint in his eyes as he forgets himself and lets his gaze linger on the Copy Ninja. Kakashi himself is fine, as long as he has something behind his back, helping him to keep his head straight. He’s sprawled on the ground, leaning against Gai’s low sofa behind him. He’s fine until he doesn’t move, because if he does, the room starts to spin dangerously around him. Their questions have become more daring and their answers a lot less coherent with each new cup they consumed.

“I’m drunk too,” he states this fact out loud as it’s always good to see clearly in any situation. 

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Gai wiggles a finger in his face. Kakashi grabs his wrist and drags him towards himself. Gai goes - his movements are still unfairly coordinated. He sits down next to him, too close. Kakashi wiggles, but somehow, he ends up scooting closer and not away. Gai’s thigh presses against his, warm and solid like a wall of brick in a patch of sunlight. 

“Whassa’ question again?”

“The weirdest disguise you ever had to wear. You are not keeping up, Rival! Are you admitting defeat?”

“Never! You are my Eternal...Youknowwhat. I don’t admit defeat. And it was a... prostitute,” Kakashi says, although this is not true. He is aware his questions and answers have become suggestive, trying to provoke Gai into something he’d know better not to initiate when sober. “Had boobs and everything. A tiny skirt. High heels were a pain, dunno why women wear them.” He lets his head roll to the side, resting against Gai’s shoulder. He has broad, dependable shoulders. Kakashi finds them quite attractive. He’s not so far gone to say that out loud. “Do you like boobs, skirts and high heels?” he asks instead.

“Is that your question?”

“Yeah, go on,” Gai doesn’t move to pour them another shot of sake, and it’s probably for the better.

“No, I’m ah, more attracted to the male form than to the female,” Gai says. He’s not exactly stiff, but he doesn’t move to pull Kakashi closer either. “But I’m sure you knew that already.”

Kakashi did, of course. You can’t be acquainted with someone for twenty years and stay unaware of things like that. Gai dated a few men over the years that Kakashi can recall. He can’t be called handsome, not with his thick brows, his wide nose that’s been broken at least two places, with his too-angular face, but that green spandex suit doesn’t hide how incredibly well worked-out his body is. That draws in men who are into that sort of thing. It drew Kakashi’s gaze upon him often enough. 

Gai asked Kakashi out only once. He pretended he wasn’t paying attention and just simply didn’t react to it. Gai never brought it up again. It is a frightening thought, dating one of your very few friends. Such a date is bound to go wrong and Kakashi would have just ended losing him for good. He’s not good at intimacy.

“Why are you asking me this?” Gai turns his head slightly, looking at his face. Kakashi’s mess or hair must be tickling his chin, but he doesn’t seem to mind. It’s his turn to question, but maybe they aren’t playing their competition any more. It’s impossible to tell. 

“Because I want to ask next if you are attracted to me.” He blinks at his own daring. Gai was right - the drinking challenge was a bad idea.

“I think you know the answer to that too,” Gai whispers and it’s strange, Kakashi doesn’t recall he has ever heard him whisper, probably not even on missions when they had to stay quiet. He remembers weird, exaggerated hand signs that nobody could read, but not whispering.

“Then I probably should rather ask if you will kiss me,” his voice is low and husky as well. He isn’t slurring his words and he silently congratulates himself for that. That indicates he’s steady and sober, even if he is anything but. 

“I will, if you want me to,” Gai eyes are wide, searching. Kakashi gives the briefest of nods and that seems to be enough. The next instant Gai’s lips are on his, dry and warm and tentative. Kakashi grabs the back of his neck and pulls him in closer. He kisses back, tongue and teeth, with a hunger that he hasn’t even known he had in him. This is Gai, his best friend, and there’s a very good reason why he shouldn’t be doing this, but for the life of him he can’t remember what that is. Gai is strong and dependable, secure, like a solid rock in this uncertain world. 

They shift, or at least Gai does, until he’s straddling Kakashi’s legs. His arms brace against the sofa, bracketing Kakashi’s head. He smells like curry and sake and that warm, masculine scent that Kakashi’s sensitive nose always detects under his aftershave. It’s a familiar smell, so there’s no explanation why it arouses him so much, so suddenly. He shudders slightly, head spinning more than ever as blood rushes southwards, to his rapidly hardening cock. 

He pushes his hand up under Gai’s t-shirt, enjoying the feel of taut muscles under his touch. He reaches higher, brushing a nipple, curling his fingers to let it scratch against coarse hair. Gai groans, hips thrusting against thin air. Kakashi remedies that with cupping his other hand against his groin, and Gai jerks, pushing his cock, just as hard as Kakashi’s is, into his grasp. There are too many layers in the way though. Kakashi tugs his sweatpants down.

“You have the most ridiculous underwear,” he states, sounding surprisingly collected even for his own ears. But it’s the truth, it is outrageous. Gai’s erection tents his boxer obscenely, highlighted further by those printed bananas. There’s no doubt whether he’s still hiding a little acorn there - the considerate bulge clearly says he’s not. Gai huffs, but whatever he wants to say is cut short when Kakashi slips his hand under the elastic band of his shorts, wrapping his fingers loosely around his cock.

“Kakashi...I…” there is a horrible moment when he thinks Gai will point out how they are too drunk for this, that they will just regret the night the morning after. “Let me take you to bed, at least,” he says instead. Kakashi wants to protest that the floor is more than adequate, but Gai is already pulling back, getting a gentle hold on him and lifting him up effortlessly.

Getting carried to the bed bridal-style should be mortifying, but at that moment Kakashi can’t really care. He pulls Gai on top of him as soon as his back hits the mattress. They lose their clothing fast - it’s easier with both of them in just casual wear, no chainmail shirts, no supportive bandages, no gloves or wrist supporters. No hideous green spandex. Gai doesn’t even have any hidden weapons on him - so careless - and Kakashi gets rid of his own kunais too. Being drunk and horny makes him careless as well, it seems. 

He saw glimpses of Gai’s body before of course, on missions mostly, even went with him to a hot spa a few times. He knows about all that muscle, the labyrinth of scars on his skin, but it just doesn’t compare how he is now, flushed and aroused. There’s so many things Kakashi wants to do, but he’s dizzy, turned on and impatient. 

“Come down here,” he mutters, fingers running through Gai’s hair and tugging on it roughly. It takes some logistics and time as they are both quite inebriated. They end up laying side by side, facing each other. Kakashi throws a leg over Gai’s thighs, shifting until they are flush against each other. Gai is moving his hips, gentle little thrusts, his cock sliding against Kakashi’s stomach. He wedges a hand between their bodies, fondling Gai’s cock and balls gently, before he takes both their erections in his grip. His friend groans, bucking against him. His hand grasps Kakashi’s arse, urging him to move against him.

It takes embarrassingly little. Gai’s body is sweaty as he pivots cock against Kakashi’s again and again. He grunts when the Copy Ninja grasps a handful of his hair, doesn’t seem to mind even when he pulls on it. His palm is warm and secure on Kakashi’s arse, his fingers digging in where thighs meet buttocks. Kakashi imagines them sliding up, between his cheeks, to nudge against his hole. He gaps at the thought, pushes Gai on his back and fucks his fist with renewed vigour.

He bits his lips when he comes, the need to stay silent too much an integrated part of him even now, when he’s having drunk sex with someone he’s not supposed to. Gai watches him with something like awe on his face. Kakashi kisses him as he can’t bear to see that expression right now. He shifts off from Gai, takes his still hard prick into his hand again and jerks him until he comes too, moaning Kakashi’s name not quietly at all.

He should know better, but he falls asleep in Gai’s bed. 

He wakes up at the crack of dawn. He has a headache, and his mouth feels stuffed with cotton. He’s aware of the dried stickiness on his abdomen. The bed smells of sweat and sex, sake too, an insult to his sensitive nose. He is warm - Gai is pressed close to him, snoring slightly. A blanket is covering them. 

Kakashi slips out from the bed. What the fuck have you done, he asks himself, although the answer is pretty obvious. He gathers his clothes silently, slipping into them. He can tell the moment Gai wakes from the way his breathing changes. Pretend you are still asleep, he silently begs him. Make this a little easier. 

No such luck, of course. Maito Gai is not a man known for taking the easy way out of any situation. 

“Kakashi?” he asks, sitting up in the bed. “Where are you going?”

“I need a shower, Gai.”

“You don’t need to leave for that!” he gets out of the bed, unabashed of his nakedness. The dawning sun peeks through his curtains, painting golden streaks on his muscled body. His cock lies in its nest of coarse black hair, soft and pliant. Kakashi tears his eyes away with some effort. “You can just use mine, you know.”

“I prefer the one at home.”

“Oh… right.” Gai seems to recognise something is off, finally. He looks around the room, probably for his clothes. Kakashi is already dressed. He pulls his mask up to cover his face. “I can make breakfast for us first, before you go” he adds hopefully, ever the optimist. 

“There’s no need for that,” with his mask in place, it’s easier to keep his cool, Kakashi finds. “I’ll see you around later.”

Gai is not a good actor. Hurt clearly shows on his face, before he forces his expression into a wide smile. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but he gives the thumbs up for Kakashi, nevertheless.

“That’s right, my Most Esteemed Rival! It’s never too early to start your day! It’s just time for my morning exercises too! I’ll run two-hundred, no, three-hundred laps around the village to celebrate…” he cuts himself off and an awkward silence falls over them.

“See you later, Gai,” Kakashi says again and walks out. He doesn’t turn back to see if the other man is watching him. Maybe he’s standing in the door, nude, for his whole neighbourhood to see, but it’s better if Kakashi doesn’t know for sure.

Kakashi avoids the training grounds in the next few days. In fact, he avoids all places and all people as much as possible. He has a report to prepare about the mission after all, and all the books he needs to catch up reading. It’s totally reasonable to spend most of his time in his flat. He is not hiding… except that maybe he is.

He had sex with Gai. It’s not a big deal, is it? They are both adults - it’s something that happens. It really doesn’t mean anything. They haven’t even upgraded to be friends with benefits or something utterly ridiculous like that. It was just a one-night stand, some drunken groping. It happens to people all the time. It never happened to Kakashi before, but it happens to _other_ people, doesn’t it?

Nothing has to change between them at all. Gai will still challenge him to all kind of stupid contests. They will still hang out together. Kakashi will still ask for his advice for dealing with his team and will still mostly ignore those advices, except when he has no better idea than to copy exactly what Gai has done with his team a year ago. Gai will still look at him with too much adoration when he thinks he doesn’t notice, and Kakashi will still pretend not to notice. 

Things won’t change between them, because change has the risk of losing all the current good things and Kakashi can’t bear the thought of losing Gai. They can’t afford becoming each other’s weak spots. Shinobi in their position can’t allow to have gentle feelings for each other. What if one of them is captured and used to lure the other in? Watching Gai, a friend die one day is a distinct possibility. It would just hurt even more to watch Gai, his lover die.

Kakashi is not so self-centred to ignore how he had hurt Gai, but he tries to reassure himself it’s for the best. Surely, he will come to the same conclusions Kakashi did, he just needs more time to add two and two and come up with the number four. Maybe, a little voice in the back of his mind whispers, he should go and talk to him. It would be an adult thing to do, explaining in a straightforward way that while Kakashi enjoyed their night together and would love to repeat it, preferably while sober and more in control of his body, for the safety of them both, they just can’t. Gai would try to convince him, but he’d accept in the end that Kakashi is right. He’d date other people again and Kakashi would certainly not be jealous.

Or he can just avoid him for a couple of weeks or months, until he can walk up to him again, pretending nothing has happened. 

Kakashi proves to be a coward, choosing the second option. But he proves to be an idiot as well, thinking that Gai will just let him take the easy way out.

He doesn’t slink outside of Kakashi’s window or try to corner him on the streets. No, leave it for the man to walk to his door on the third evening and knock on it loudly.

“Kakashi, it’s me,” he announces, as if his presence needs to be announced. Pretending that he’s not at home - which might be Kakashi’s first thought - is out of the question. Gai knows he’s in here so probably he’s ready to wait outside his door as long as necessary. 

Kakashi takes a look in the mirror. He looks like hell, skin pale, the circles dark under his eyes prominent. His hair is a disaster, and he didn’t change clothes for the last two days. Sighing, he drags his mask up over his nose and opens the door. 

Gai is standing there in his usual green, form-fitting outfit. He has a box in one hand and a large bouquet of red flowers in the other. Talk about being subtle. Leave it to him to add two and two and come up with a totally different number than Kakashi did.

Beyond words, he steps aside to let the other man in. 

Once inside, Gai pushes the bouquet into his hands, almost hitting him in the face with it in his enthusiasm. The flowers are deep red, multi layered, frilly things. They are probably not roses, or maybe they are, just a different kind Kakashi is familiar with. He doesn’t know a thing about flowers.

“They are camellias,” Gai booms. He looks cheerful and sounds too loud even for himself. Kakashi strongly suspects it’s just a facade. “The red ones mean that, ah, You are a Flame in My Heart,” he trails off, uncertainty showing on his face as Kakashi just stands there, holding them awkwardly. “Here,” he adds, holding up the box. “Chocolates would have been more fitting, but I know you don’t like sweets, so this is just a takeaway from that place you like. That miso soup with eggplant and...Argh, I knew this won’t be romantic enough! I endeavour to do better next time and bring the appropriate gifts! If I fail, I’ll do eight-hundred, no nine-hundred…”

“Gai,” Kakashi cuts him off, because he can’t stand here with flowers in hand, listening to what insane exercises Gai will put himself through if he doesn’t manage to bring gifts which Kakashi manages to show his appreciation for. The whole situation is so surreal, he’d think this is some detailed genjutsu if it also weren’t so typically Gai-ish. “This is more than adequate. Why are you bringing me flowers and dinner in the first place?”

“Well, you see Rival...Kakashi…” Gai sounds uncharacteristically hesitant, “I’m afraid I hurt your feelings the other night. I wanted to make it clear that my intentions are a lot more deeper than what my actions suggested. I’m not a man who takes advantage of his drunken friend. You have to know that I had serious feelings for…”

“Stop there,” Kakashi holds his hand up. “Let me get this straight. You didn’t intend to hurt _my_ feelings.”

“That’s right, my Cherished Rival! I came here to…”

“Hold on. Hold on. You think _you_ have hurt _my_ feelings.”

“Yes?” Gai sounds a tad uncertain now, but that’s nothing compared to the confusion Kakashi feels.

“So - I ran away the morning after because you hurt my feelings?”

“Didn’t I?”

“Gai, I ran away because I didn’t know how to deal with the situation. You didn’t hurt me. If anything, I should be apologising to you.”

“So?”

“So what?”

“Are you going to apologise then?” There’s a defiant glint in Gai’s eyes. Kakashi looks away, down at the camellias he’s still holding in front of him like a total idiot. Saying sorry would be the fair thing to do. Then he could explain to Gai why he’s been hiding away and why they need to keep their distance.

“Let me put these in some water,” he says instead and goes to rummage his kitchen for something he can use as a vase. It could be worse, he thinks. Guy could have brought a ring and proposed to save his honour after defying Kakashi’s virtue. “Did you bring enough to share?” he asks, jerking his heads towards the food boxes.

“I didn’t want to suggest… but yes, I did.”

“Let’s have some dinner then.”

“Kakashi,” Gai steps up behind him, too close. He tends not to respect Kakashi’s personal space, but this is a new level, with his chest touching Kakashi’s back. “Leave the food for now. Can we just talk?”

He turns around but doesn’t step back. Gai stands his ground as well. His back is straight, making him look taller than he is next to Kakashi’s slouch. 

“I’m not very good at talking.”

“Some things are worth improving in, won’t you agree, my Rival? The Important Things, which are…”

Kakashi kisses him. Well. He presses his mask-covered mouth against Gai’s, but it does shut the other man up. Gai tugs the piece of cloth down and kisses him properly, crowding him against his fridge as he puts his whole body into it. He cups Kakashi’s face as he kisses him with passion, wedging a thigh between his legs. His free hand roams over his chest, his side, up to his neck. Kakashi is quite weak-kneed by the time he pulls back.

“You have to understand,” he starts because he apparently will talk about it. He just can’t have Gai kiss him like _that_ and leave him in the dark. “We can’t let people on that something’s happening between us. Do you get that?”

There’s a flash of hurt, before Gai beams his brilliant white smile at him.

“I understand if you don’t feel ready to be seen with me in public, Rival! I take it as a challenge to improve myself, until you think of me as a worthy partner!”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Kakashi snaps. “It’s not that.” Only a moron would feel ashamed of Gai, and Kakashi hasn’t been that moron for years now. “It’s too dangerous. I can’t… Can’t lose you as well.”

“Kakashi,” Gai takes his hand, looking down at where their fingers entwine before he raises his eyes to meet his. “I can’t promise you I won’t die, you know that. But I’m strong and won’t be killed easily. I can commit to be at your side when you need me, as a comrade and friend but also as a lover, if you allow me to! If you want me to.”

“For the record: if this ends badly, I told you so. I’m going to regret it, but…”

Gai kisses him again. To hell with it, Kakashi thinks, pushing Gai’s vest off his shoulders and trying - in vain - to find the zip on his jumpsuit. It’s a bad idea, but with Gai snogging him so thoroughly it’s difficult to remember all the reasons why that is so.

“I’ll strive to ensure you won’t regret this,” Gai kisses his neck, having an easy time undressing Kakashi from the sleeveless top and loose pants he was wearing for home. “I’ll prove it to you that I can be worthy of your affections. But if you will still have regrets, I’ll…”

“I know, you’ll do ten thousand push ups one handed. More importantly, how do I get you out of this green monstrosity?” 

“If you had ever accepted to wear the Outfit of Youthful Power, you wouldn’t be in a struggle now!” the Green Beast of Konoha has the audacity to tease him. Before Kakashi could seriously consider simply slicing open the horrible thing with a knife, he steps away and performs a complex, though lightning quick series of exercises, which leaves him in nothing but his underwear. Today’s boxer shorts are dark blue with cheerful cherries printed over them. He must have a full set of ridiculous fruit trunks. Kakashi pounces. 

They stumble to his bedroom. There is a sense of urgency that Kakashi doesn’t usually feel when he’s about to have sex. If anything, he tends to be slightly uneasy and tense - he never quite manages to “give himself over to joy”, “let the heat of the moment sweep him away” or any of the catchy phrases the Icha Icha series use to describe the act.

It’s different with Gai, who focuses on causing Kakashi pleasure with the same intensive concentration he shows developing his techniques. He seems quite determined not to let a single part of Kakashi’s body unattended, as he lays kisses and caresses everywhere. As a bit of an afterthought, Kakashi realises he should reciprocate instead of just being sprawled on his back, moaning in gasping his appreciation. He reaches out to Gai, who catches his hand in a gentle grip, kissing his knuckles. 

“Let me do this, please,” he asks Kakashi, and who is he to refuse? He lays back with a sigh, allowing Gai more than gladly to do what he wants. He seems to have a natural talent for arousing Kakashi, after all. He never thought that things like a warm tongue licking his scars - and he has plenty - would be a turn on, but it is. There’s no reason to be cautious with Gai, to hide his weak spots. If he can trust someone, it’s this man. 

Kakashi’s cock lays hard, curving towards his left hipbone. Gai hasn’t touched it yet, save for a surprisingly chaste kiss he lay on the underside of it. It would take one word, and he’d suck Kakashi off, he’s sure of it. He wants it, of course, but he finds himself unwilling to break Gai’s slow but steady rhythm. He still fills the urgency, but it’s duller somehow, the need to come fading when compared to the enjoyment of pampering. There’s no need to rush for an orgasm, not when he knows it will surely come too. In due time. Kakashi wonders how long the other man could go on. He has never met anyone who knew his own body as much as Gai does, so maybe he could stay aroused for hours upon hours. Isn’t that quite the thought? The appeal is considerable - but it’s not for today. They can, and this is a very new concept for Kakashi, do this again. And again. He can see for himself the limits of Gai’s stamina and determination, but first of all, he wants his passion.

“Gai,” he says, just slightly breathless, “I need you to fuck me.”

Gai, who’s been progressing with his kisses steadily downwards, raises his head from his calves. He looks at him with “smouldering desire” as Jiraiya would describe it in his books. Kakashi has never realised something like that can be a real thing.

“Are you sure, Kakashi?”

“Am I… are you kidding? Of course, I’m sure. I want nothing more.”

He rolls over to rummage through his night drawer for the lube he keeps there for the odd wanking session. He handles it over to Gai, who is blinking rapidly.

“You are not going to cry, are you?” Kakashi asks in alarm. There’s only so much emotion he can handle, and he’s been pushed to his limits today already. 

“Kakashi! I dared to dream about this, but I never really hoped you’d… that you’d want me to…”

“Hey,” he says softly, “Gai. I’m… look, I’m not good at this,” meaning talking about emotions, or you know, _feeling_ them, “but I do want you. Do you want me as well?”

“Like I never wanted anyone else in my whole life,” Gai makes it sounds so easy, saying things like that. Kakashi pushes himself up on his arms and knees and wiggles his arse in a way that must look ridiculous, but Gai seems to appreciate it anyway.

He takes his time, preparing Kakashi. He’s careful, using well-lubed fingers, hooking them until he finds the spot he’s looking for, then proceeds to reduce Kakashi into a quivering mess, pressing mercilessly at it.

“I’m ready, Gai, just do it,” he pants, even knowing how thick the other’s cock is. He doesn’t mind a bit of a burn, and anyway, if they keep on like this, Kakashi will come from nothing more than Gai’s fingers up his arse, before they get to the main event.

He lays his forehead on his folded arms as Gai steadies himself with a hand on his waist. He pushes into Kakashi slowly, with tiny thrusts of his hips. He takes his time bottoming out. Kakashi still has to take a couple of long and steady breaths, willing his muscles to relax. Gai is murmuring silly little praises, saying how good Kakashi is doing, how beautiful he is, rubbing shooting circles on his lower back. 

“You can move now,” Kakashi encourages. Gai withdraws just slightly, before pushing back in. Careful and loving. Kakashi would be embarrassed if he wasn’t too busy meeting his thrusts, taking him in deeply. 

They build up tempo, slowly but steadily, until Gai is fucking him with deep, rolling movements, hitting Kakashi’s prostate with precision each time. He could probably go on like this _forever,_ but Kakashi demands more and harder, and Gai gives it to him. Kakashi has to brace himself with a hand on the headboard when he puts his back into it.

It’s quite an experience, getting fucked by someone like Maito Gai, by a man who knows his own body so well and who gives Kakashi’s such attention. His pleasure builds up slowly, spiralling higher and higher, until he’s sure he’ll come from nothing else but Gai’s cock rubbing against his prostate. He’s almost, almost, _almost_ there, but not quite. 

“Gai, your hand,” he wheezes, and his lover understands. It takes him exactly one long stroke from the root of Kakashi’s dick to the tip and he’s coming, shooting against Gai’s fingers. He collapses back on the bed once he is spent, panting. Gai’s cock slipped free and he’s now waiting, on his arms and knees above him. Selfless, even in something like this.

Kakashi rolls onto his back under him and hooks his legs over his back. 

“Come back here,” he says, taking him in his hand, guiding him back. “Just start slowly.”

Gai slips into him easily. Kakashi’s hole is tender and stretched. He’s oversensitive now, with his own arousal sated, but he doesn’t let the discomfort show on his face. He watches Gai instead, fascinated as if it’s the first time he sees him. Gai is not handsome, but he’s incredibly attractive, he can freely admit it now. He’s trying to be careful, more focused on not hurting Kakashi than chasing his own pleasure and that just won’t do. Kakashi drags him down by his hair for a sloppy kiss and murmurs against his lips.

“I want you to let go, Gai,” he whispers. “I want you to fill me up,” Gai’s eyes snap open, looking at him with some scandalised surprise initially, but it’s quickly taken over by lust. “You can do that for me, can’t you? You can fuck me until you come.”

Gai’s answering groan is quite animalistic. Kakashi feels quite proud - all the time he spent reading Icha Icha has paid back when he expected it the least, although the books were never so outspokenly dirty worded. Kakashi can take some credit for creativity too. That’s about how far he gets feeling pleased with himself as Gai hikes him higher by his hips, folding him in almost two, and starts to pound into him in earnest. Kakashi hangs on for the ride, gasping encouragements. He’s not very coherent, just uttering choked off “that’s it”s and “yes”es. When Gai comes he _growls,_ face scrunched up quite funnily, not that Kakashi has the breath to spear for a laugh. Gai watches him, hips still moving, slowly now, gently, and Kakashi watches him, with a dangerous, fluttering emotion building up in his chest.

Gai pulls out of him carefully and lays down on the bed beside him. Kakashi’s limbs have turned into overcooked noodles but he manages to roll onto his side. Gai’s smiling a stupid, overjoyed smile. Kakashi kisses him, because that feeling threatens to overspill. It’s a frighteningly huge step as it is, becoming lovers with Gai. He can’t cope with anything more for the time being, maybe not ever.

They’d need to clean up, before all those body fluids dry, but he’s fairly sure his legs won’t hold him if he stands. Gai, a mind reader for once, gets up after a few minutes, goes to the bathroom and returns with a wet towel. He wipes off Kakashi’s thighs where his cum spilled out, even between the cheeks of his arse, all the while looking at him with unmasked infatuation. Kakashi would be embarrassed if he weren’t too well-fucked for it. 

“C’m here,” he slurs, pulling him back on the bed.

“This was the best,” Gai starts, and he somehow manages to be loud, even as he obviously tries to whisper, “the most wonderful and brilliant occasion in my whole life. Kakashi,” he sits up suddenly, unable to just lay idle even after some frankly mind-blowing sex, “Was it good for you as well? If not, I’ll…”

“Please don’t say you’ll do a thousand high-kicks,” Kakashi laughs. “Gai, it was great. If that wasn’t obvious.”

Kakashi dozes for a while, and even Gai manages to stay put. They reheat the dinner and share later. Gai suggests at one point that he will go home for the night, but he never does. They end up in the bed again, having highly satisfying though less vigorous second round sex. Gai falls asleep in his bed.

It’s a very strange feeling, leaving the apartment together in the morning. Kakashi resists the urge to look around to check if anyone has seen them. This new situation will take some getting used to.

Gai needs to meet his team, and Kakashi maybe should check on his, too. He stands in the middle of the street, watching his friend’s retreating back, feeling at peace. Maybe, he allows a tiny, hopeful voice to whisper in his mind, maybe it will be alright. Gai is good at defying all logic. They need to be careful, but they can have a shot at this new thing, a _relationship_ between them. He just really needs to make sure his team won’t get wind of it, he’d never live it down.

  
  
**FIN  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**


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